Saturday, April 14, 2007

What is this life if,

At five this morning I got up too energised to sleep, so unloaded the three remaining bags of stones from the truck and sat in the pre-dawn peace in my new garden. It isn't finished but it feels like a garden (the deck feels like a deck), and I soaked it all in, the birdsong, the lovely tension between pride and impatience to get on with it, Suscipe intimidating the mosquito fish in the little pond, jasmine and honeysuckle and that feeling of fresh green companions near my skin. Chlorophyll centers on one atom of magnesium, haemoglobin on one of iron. I think.

when I came in I read this article:
which was so relevant to what I had just been doing, so meaningful, that I sat and listened now at 11 am to the whole tape (in the interim I went back to bed). It haunts me. The absence of meaning which so often oppresses me has lifted, whether it is the sandpit pleasure of arranging rocks - it looks like Brighton Beach - or the joys of creation, nature, beauty, community, I don't know but am grateful.


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