A vivid description on my state of mind after having my train cancelled. A blood-curdling hour on appalling SouthWest and National Express websites later I have a coach booking instead.
Truth is, I am not great at travel arrangements. I get into Postman Pat mentality way too easily, and leave vital things undone. Now that I am approaching maturity, this must change.
To bend myself back again I made cardomom cookies, and I'm waiting for these to cook before sealing the porch roof against future gales, then this afternoon I install the downstairs kitchen tap. I am looking forward to doing that because it shows, all shiny and obvious.
The last few days have been so public, with dinner guests, visitors and yesterday a lovely tea with Jessamy and Imra that it's a relief being mucky again, work clothes instead of makeup and heels. I enjoy making the effort but it is an effort, and it is much more relaxing to be involved and grounded and working again.
Following that thought, I have been planning my retirement. A smallholding with good soil and plentiful water, fruit trees in variety, and nut trees, and I shall grow cabbages and onions and keep hens. I have my heart set on a root cellar, and good work rooms, an outdoor shower, solar power, a wood stove, perhaps a sod roof - sustainability of course. Rammed earth and the internet. Every now and then I might sand my knuckles and drive into the city for an exhibition, but not very often.
Thinking even further ahead, Felix said he realised they would probably play "Golden Brown" at my memorial, so he thinks of it differently now. I don't want to spoil a whole raft of music for him ahead of time but it's worth a little planning. "When I am laid, am laid un oeuf" of course; Ode to Joy. The testimonials are more to the point, what WILL they say? and how can I get to hear it beforehand?