Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Extraction

Such a feeling of space and order and freedom from my dear little house. Autumn is the time for this after the carelessness of summer; I am checking the eaves, and the chimney, and things are beginning to be tied up and battened down before the rain, well before the rain. Not quite harvest time, but soon enough. The afternoons are increasingly golden, and I am so happy just to watch them. We should be getting stilts through soon, heading south.

The children are already back at school including two of my adult children, and that always was the marker. I had a secret treat for myself when the elder two were at their first schools: I would drive them there on the first day, and on the way back I would stop at Harrods' food hall and have a malted milkshake all by myself. It was really hard to find a milkshake in London at all in those days, I wonder if it has changed.

Today's food is smoothies (have they superceded the milkshake?), broth and melon, nothing with little bits in it which could irritate the socket. I am mesmerised by the enormous hole inside my mouth when the tooth itself seemed of quite modest size. I keep thinking of that picture of a redwood with a car driving through, what an obscenity. What shall I do with the tooth I wonder? Incorporate it into a still life? I insisted on taking it, wasn't going to leave it there of purposes of witchcraft.

He did a great job, not a moment's pain, although at one point I started to sweat and couldn't breathe, and felt an urge to clock him one before rationality took over again. I was startled that I could be so primitive, reassured that I still have instincts of self-preservation, no matter how disgraceful.


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