Insight

I am going out to lunch, so applied slap with the attention of a geisha. and I realised how long it is since I have done that, because the blog has taken over. Making up used to be my practical meditation time, going within, facing myself, losing myself in the music (Last Four Songs for this miserable morning). I used to say it ws the most creative thing I did all day; nobody, but nobody, can create an eyebrow like I can.

When I look myself straight in the eye, I can see I don't look well. Handsome yes, but the soft roundedness and exoticism of my youth is long gone, and I am tending towards Maggie Smith, an improvement on Susan Sarandon. Everyone thinks I look like someone, I'm used to it now.

I mind the loss of my vitality. The stringent regime I have followed since Feb. 1 has certainly dropped weight, but I yearn for my old stamina and bounce. I have good role models (copying again!), and among my age-set we discuss the implications of approaching sixty, and on the whole it is cheering, we are a practical, positive lot. I feel I am lagging.

More tests and monitoring tomorrow. I won't give up now.