Sunday, March 19, 2006

Time and Space

This evening when the moon rose over the water it made a path clear to my pillow, so intimate I nearly put my hand to my chest in astonishment - "Me? You?"

Now it is higher, the moment has passed, and the geese are apparently brawling with broken bottles across the inlet, blue murder relieving intimations of mortality from the far side of the world.

I took a while to realise we are all in free fall, it becomes clearer when friends fall off their perches. I was aware for years how fortunate I was to have both my parents, so when my father died I felt I really had him while he was there. Now, here, I see Suscipe becoming a little slower, a little less limber, and I try to bargain: stay, just a few more years. She is sixteen, and without a doubt the deepest and best cat I have ever had, not just affectionate, but loyal, quirky, queenly - when displeased her eyelids dip almost like a wildcat's; a Maine coon thing?

She learned to meow only since she has been with us and still sounds creaky. Hadn't been outside at all, crept across the deck at half-mast at first. Now she rolls luxuriantly on her back in the sun, and sits for hours watching - everything. She pats my face to wake me but takes the hint if I play possum, sagacious little cat. I love seeing the world through her eyes.

And all the while the silent laughter rings
As wind through an open window, saying,
'Be deeper still,
Be deeper, still.
Stand at zero.
Stand at zero.'


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