American Kitchen Magazine 1899

How can I tell her?
by her cellar -
Cleanly shelved and whitened walls.
How can I guess her -
by her dresser,
By the back staircase and halls,
and with pleasure
Take her measure
by the way she keeps her brooms;
Or the peeping
at her keeping
Of her back and unseen rooms.
By her kitchen's air of neatness
& its general completeness
Where in cleanliness and sweetness
the rose of order blooms.

The belle of Spotless town you see
Who shines in bright society.
Her mind is broad, her waist is trim.
Her pots and pans are never dim.
She has the cents to make a show
By polishing with Sapolio.

I found it charming right down to the plug, but as I typed I felt the urge toward satire and bawdy, both. Maybe I'll never grow up.