The Dark Side

I suppose there had to be a reaction. Part of it is that I am so territorial that having the Monster invade my house to view rushes fills me with fury and panic. I have negotiated every second day, to make it bearable. I lock the door too, you'd think he'd get the hint. If he is what we have to work with, we find ways to make it work and not take it personally.

End result, feeling a bit barricaded, which puts a slow leak into euphoria. Shucks.

To Sheila:
"I always feel a secret sense of comfort after the solstice, so I can face Christmas with equanimity! Well, I try to, and this year might succeed. We are having a family/birthdays gathering 26th for everything, so I hope it works. I have alternate fantasies for the perfect Christmas, one is in a snow-bound lodge in Lake Tahoe with EVERYBODY there, and the other is creeping away to Costa Rica. Meanwhile I have much better mastery of the wood-burning stove and can keep it smouldering all night now, and I just love its cheerful presence. The grass on the hills looks like green velvet, impossibly Tele-Tubby."

Loads of little things to do. At least I have vacuumed. Can't sleep well right now.

My alternate self bought a lodge on the north side of Lake Tahoe yesterday, complete with Aga. The next door neighbour has horses and I let him graze them on our land. I equipped the whole kitchen from Williams Sonoma and Dean and Deluca.