Monday, November 12, 2007


I am having trouble with, partly because I don't understand how it works beyond bare basics, and partly because they seem to be having problems. It's a good concept, inconsequential remarks which don't demand an answer, muttering to oneself really. I can do that. It has more substance though when you feel it is possible someone will hear, and maybe even respond.

So now I share with the world my amusement that my lavender is blooming (November!). In fact many things are rallying and putting out new growth, because they have natural rain instead my watering, however dedicated, and it is still warm and light enough. It really tickles me.

I am doing a career management thingy of recording my strengths, not so much what I regard as my best abilities but the things that make me feel on top of it, pleased, rewarded, valid, useful, strong. Mistress of the Universe, actually. What if the answer were torture? Or, Food? When I am eating I feel totally validated, appreciated, in control, how is that for a sidetrack? Stuff working, just bring on the toast.

I am suspicious of feelings. How can we be objective about feelings? This sort of exercise has limited validity because there has to be an assumption of balance, rationality, objectivity which isn't necessarily there in the mix. Good enough for my purposes, but I hanker always after universality. One of my strengths.

And furthermore, my credo: beware what you pride yourself on. I can't think of a single virtue which doesn't need balancing, even balance.

I shall continue to think on this while installing the insulation.


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